This is beautiful, and truly on point. There are days right now where I focus solely on small joys just to combat the rising blackness that crowds the edges of the lens. Like taking the boy to get his first pair of glasses and just approving of his choices ( they are smashing), griefing friends on the net over a vidya game... being able to sift substack to focus more on the positive or positively wicked (Letters to God)... also, pork rinds dipped in queso.
This is an excellent read, Dani. You say it so well. I choose to look at my relationship with anything like a real relationship like with a person. I have boundaries for myself and with others to protect myself and to protect the relationships. I have to tell myself that boundaries with activism protects my longterm relationship with it and keeps it sustainable.
I went from short term leave to long term leave and eventually lost my career almost 10 years ago due to precisely what you described. I didn’t have a support system (had no idea what neurodivergence even was yet) and I wasn’t ok at all for a long time and didn’t get any compassion. I was treated like a failure. I’ve healed and learned to love myself and care for myself since then, and I won’t let myself go back there either.
And lastly! I wrote this song, Our Joy Resistance, the day after the election. I’m late in life queer. I betrayed myself to be safe for more than 3 decades. That day everything in me was screaming that I needed to take all the pride shit down & hide. Which of course felt intolerable. I hyper-focused on this song to stay out of the closet 😆 essentially I guess. I’ve never said it that way before. I thought you’d appreciate it. I feel like I channeled it. I’m a brand new song writer. But yea, I see my joy as such resistance. My creating is such resistance. They want us afraid and assimilating, so I try to do the exact opposite as much as possible.
Thank you for sharing! And for the reminder that I too am a person and should treat my connection to myself as such. 🙏 One area I’m growing in for sure! 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🌈
Yesss!!! I actually meant to tie that in more directly but had so many thoughts to share I forgot. 😆 But yea that’s really the key right there. You’re a lovely person. Love yourself so well, darling!!
This is beautifully written,and, with a gentle wisdom. There is so much in life for us to be discontented about,it's important,therefore,to actively seek contentment ,which may birth a moment of joy. Thankyou for you wise words.
I'm a 66 year old queer retiree. It would be easy to recede into invisibility, binging series in my recliner. I'm a former nurse so used to hard work, exhaustion and burn out. I was forced to retire sooner than expected by my body's inability to keep up. It took me a year or more of whiplash to recover from burnout mindset and heal my body, which is happening. I am expressing queer joy with wearing at least one thing with rainbows on it every day. Recently I got some very loud rainbow crocs that suffice when everything else is in the wash. I am seeking communities with queer presence (i.e Jewish) and writing about resistance and connecting with queer writers like yourself. Thank you for being here!
💙 Love it Dani… working on my property without funds and few tools… I’m getting better about stopping the first time my body yells GOTCHA at me… the great joy is that tired joy at night thinking accomplishments ! 😷
This resonates so well with me, especially the idea that all my joy is queer joy because I am queer and proud of it. I write on Substack to try to share my joy, big, small, and everything in-between. Sometimes that's just random facts about me. Sometimes it's about my queerness or my gender journey. Sometimes it's about being neurospicy. But it's so important that queer and trans voices be out there and be heard. It's part of why I like this platform. Something about it makes me feel seen and heard.
This is beautiful, and truly on point. There are days right now where I focus solely on small joys just to combat the rising blackness that crowds the edges of the lens. Like taking the boy to get his first pair of glasses and just approving of his choices ( they are smashing), griefing friends on the net over a vidya game... being able to sift substack to focus more on the positive or positively wicked (Letters to God)... also, pork rinds dipped in queso.
Small joys build up to a beautiful life
This is an excellent read, Dani. You say it so well. I choose to look at my relationship with anything like a real relationship like with a person. I have boundaries for myself and with others to protect myself and to protect the relationships. I have to tell myself that boundaries with activism protects my longterm relationship with it and keeps it sustainable.
I went from short term leave to long term leave and eventually lost my career almost 10 years ago due to precisely what you described. I didn’t have a support system (had no idea what neurodivergence even was yet) and I wasn’t ok at all for a long time and didn’t get any compassion. I was treated like a failure. I’ve healed and learned to love myself and care for myself since then, and I won’t let myself go back there either.
And lastly! I wrote this song, Our Joy Resistance, the day after the election. I’m late in life queer. I betrayed myself to be safe for more than 3 decades. That day everything in me was screaming that I needed to take all the pride shit down & hide. Which of course felt intolerable. I hyper-focused on this song to stay out of the closet 😆 essentially I guess. I’ve never said it that way before. I thought you’d appreciate it. I feel like I channeled it. I’m a brand new song writer. But yea, I see my joy as such resistance. My creating is such resistance. They want us afraid and assimilating, so I try to do the exact opposite as much as possible.
https://www.bandlab.com/post/f6015826-b4d1-ef11-88cf-00224849a92c
Thanks for sharing, love! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️💖🫶✨
Thank you for sharing! And for the reminder that I too am a person and should treat my connection to myself as such. 🙏 One area I’m growing in for sure! 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🌈
Yesss!!! I actually meant to tie that in more directly but had so many thoughts to share I forgot. 😆 But yea that’s really the key right there. You’re a lovely person. Love yourself so well, darling!!
Right back at you!
This is beautifully written,and, with a gentle wisdom. There is so much in life for us to be discontented about,it's important,therefore,to actively seek contentment ,which may birth a moment of joy. Thankyou for you wise words.
Thank you! 🙏
I'm a 66 year old queer retiree. It would be easy to recede into invisibility, binging series in my recliner. I'm a former nurse so used to hard work, exhaustion and burn out. I was forced to retire sooner than expected by my body's inability to keep up. It took me a year or more of whiplash to recover from burnout mindset and heal my body, which is happening. I am expressing queer joy with wearing at least one thing with rainbows on it every day. Recently I got some very loud rainbow crocs that suffice when everything else is in the wash. I am seeking communities with queer presence (i.e Jewish) and writing about resistance and connecting with queer writers like yourself. Thank you for being here!
Cheers to all the ways we bring express joy, community, and resistance!
💙 Love it Dani… working on my property without funds and few tools… I’m getting better about stopping the first time my body yells GOTCHA at me… the great joy is that tired joy at night thinking accomplishments ! 😷
Listening to your body is important!
This resonates so well with me, especially the idea that all my joy is queer joy because I am queer and proud of it. I write on Substack to try to share my joy, big, small, and everything in-between. Sometimes that's just random facts about me. Sometimes it's about my queerness or my gender journey. Sometimes it's about being neurospicy. But it's so important that queer and trans voices be out there and be heard. It's part of why I like this platform. Something about it makes me feel seen and heard.
Keep sharing, and keep being the visibility so many of us didn’t have. Cheers to our joy 🥂🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈